F/M/K: English Nerd Edition

Once upon a time, I was not only broke and in college, but also suffering in silence as an English major in the back of a classroom listening to some dude defend Objectivism and how it applies to Dostoyevsky's works. (It does, kind of, in a very distilled simplistic sense. But that doesn't make it ok, and it doesn't make Atlas Shrugged as good as you think it is, guy.)
ANYWAY, the key to my survival was spending class gchatting with my friend C, an English major at UVA. Oh professors. If only you knew how little we all learned. We would play F/M/K (fuck/marry/kill for those that were never middle school girls) with different poets and novelists we were studying instead of hot male celebrities. Because we are super nerds. We rationalized this as still being "on topic" and therefore, we were learning. Almost, anyway. It's the same rationale I used when I played sporcle.com instead of studying.
So, unnecessary anecdote aside, I want to play again and I'm calling on my friend N to give her own opinions, even if they are wrong. (She's usually wrong.) Warm up version--- 20th Century American Expats.
Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry Miller
Me: OK, so high school me would have killed Hemingway in an instant, for the crime of forcing The Old Man and the Sea on 14 year olds.

But that Woody Allen movie Midnight in Paris completely changed my mind-- Hemingway's all hot and manly, like a Don Draper of literary 1920s Paris. Also, have you read A Moveable Feast? He'd been fun as hell. Hemingway would be so entertaining in the good moods-- he traveled all over having adventures, drinking rum, being self-destructive. Check the picture. He's pretty studly. I'd definitely do him. On the other hand, he was kind of a misogynist, and treated his wives like garbage (again like Don Draper). I think he's one that you use, abuse, and lose.
N: Kill Hemingway. He's suicidal anyway.
Me: Well that's compassionate.
N: Yeah, but it seems unfair to cast Miller into....oh snap. Henry Miller and The Crucible?
Me: No, you're thinking of Arthur Miller--- he's the one that wrote the Crucible and married Marilyn Monroe.

N:...Well, I was going to say bang Fitzgerald, but Miller seems to have...strong sexual themes.
Me: God. You just googled who Henry Miller is, didn't you?
N:...
Me: Ok, the FMK refs have decided that you can't choose any fate for Miller. You forfeit. Anyway, Henry Miller has nailed some top tier ladies, so he has to have some appeal. On the other hand, I'd have to kill him. If you marry or sleep with him, you know it will end up in graphic detail in one of his books. Also, I hated Tropic of Cancer.

N: Well, I picked Fitzgerald to bang. He seems like a fun times friend.
F: He was kind of a party dude. But Fitzgerald was so so devoted to his wife Zelda and she was straight Bonkers. So you know he'd stand by you and he seems like he'd be so easy to push around. Plus, he knew about some kickass parties, and had cool friends like Dorothy Parker. Who isn't a little bit in love with Tender is the Night or The Beautiful and the Damned? His is a romantic world. Albeit screwy and tragic and full of alcoholism, but still.
N: Fine you've changed my mind.
FINAL FATE:
N: Kill- Henry Miller, Marry- Ernest Hemingway, Fuck- F. Scott Fitzgerald
F: Kill- Henry Miller, Marry- F. Scott Fitzgerald, Fuck- Ernest Hemingway

Welcome to The Girly Show!

I've finally broken down and joined the navel-gazing tendencies of my fellow Gen-Y'ers. (Yers? That's even stupider.) Here you can find the inane ramblings of someone who is unabashedly girly (but only in the privacy of my own...head.) Anyway, if you have a mild to near fatal book addiction, love stupid TV shows, especially love stupid 90s era TV shows, or are looking to put off doing an expense report for work for another hour, then look no further.